The Shame, The Blame and the C word (Part One)

I’ve been quiet for some time on the blog front. I didn’t even know whether I wanted to blog, write, share what I’ve been going through publically. I mean where do I begin? What do I have to say? Who wants to hear it?  But lately I’ve been called to get over myself and put fingers to keyboard and just type. It’s healing isn’t it? Cathartic…blah, blah, blah.

So when one doesn’t know where to start, it’s best to start at the beginning. It all started at a follow up doctors appointment last year, November 3rd. I remember that date, as it’s the date that stops the nation…Melbourne Cup. I was at the doctors as I had, had an ongoing cough for months, which was not going away. I was tired, but hey who isn’t and I was getting the occasional night sweat.  I also had a lump on my neck that was also getting bigger, and not going away.  But I wasn’t too worried, it had to be Whooping Cough or something right?!?

So my GP ordered a barrage of tests, I had  long cotton tips  shoved up my nose and throat, bloods taken and an Ultrasound done of my neck.

That was when my world changed.

The next day I got a call from my GP to say I had to present to the hospital for a CT scan.  Being a busy business owner and booked out Remedial Massage Therapist, my response was “I’m too busy for that, can we reschedule it?”  Her gentle answer of “no” and her insistence of attending the appointment,  worried me a little, but denial is a lovely thing, and I managed to convince myself that she was just being extra cautious.

That night as I was lying in bed  reading a clinical Aromatherapy book, I turned to the chapter on the Lymphatic system and the words LYMPHOMA jumped out at me.